How to tell if your boyfriend is losing interest
3 years ago
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
i have not forgotten you
my bloggie friends...i am just so seriously up-to-the-eyeballs busy with 8 children in the house that i barely have time to wipe my nose. i am also working on a few things as far as Aquila goes... I promise to tell what i can, when i can....but for now some pictures
Thursday, March 24, 2011
i have been.....
this past Friday we took on an (unofficial) foster placement of two year little boy and his 6 month old sister. to say i have been busy is an understatement! The baby has a genetic condition which made her bones develop wrong.
and if forgot to introduce Icy, our Boston Terrier puppy who we got 6 weeks ago....
Sunday, March 13, 2011
she speaks volumes
for how a fundamentalist-homebirther thinks. it is a term i think very suited to those woman who have such rigid ideologies in regards to birth that they can not even consider any view other than their own.
from this thread i started on MDC. the first 10 pages had some real discussion, but on page 11 it falls apart thanks to people like this....
Originally Posted by littlest birds
Thank God my midwives practiced outside the law. That's the only way there was and that has been a common issue throughout the history of modern homebirth. Nobody made you do anything illegal, and I can't imagine a woman walking into homebirth without finding out its status in her area and then blaming the midwife for not mentioning it. Passive consumers are better served in the hospital IMO. I think it's rather a shame that homebirth became so trendy. People who don't really intend to face the risks of these types of attendants are doing so anyway, and then complaining about the differences. I wish hospitals were friendlier to women's birthing bodies and less frightening. They could then attract more of the women who aren't served well by homebirth. If the homebirth community, which is already learning all the time, and responding and changing over time, is inadequate FOR YOU then why not just take yourself another direction? And if you're not an informed consumer, it's probably the midwives who should be running away from you.
I think the shame is that women often lose their autonomy in the hospital experience, and so many turn to homebirth to be safe from that. They may not want the whole package of outsider health care. I do want the whole package. Unfortunately it seems mostly to be all or nothing. The only women who get real in-between choices are those in the lower-risk categories. And as many of us know, you can slip from low-risk to high-risk quite suddenly, so you can't even breathe easy about being low risk. Others are forced to choose between options such as automatic repeat c-section or "illegal" birth. So it is easy to see why women who don't really like the entire risk package choose homebirths. It's also easy to see how trained we are to be passive. Even here it has been said over and over that it is the attendant's responsibility if the mother is not informed. If you want your midwife to take on the level of responsibility of a physician, then you shouldn't choose a CPM homebirth. The qualifications for CPM midwives are so much different that I can hardly understand how people are surprised that the potential for error is also different.
Losing your baby, whatever your story, does not give you the right to propose to regulate away my birth options and freedoms. You need to be reforming maternity care inside the system if you want the built-in perks of that system. While I know that is much more difficult to change, I'd prefer that my outside options stay outside that system. I never claimed I was legal or low risk or anything like that and neither did my midwives. If you are getting into having a homebirth, you really do need to know what you are getting into. You really do need to inform yourself. You are stepping outside of the system. You really are taking some extra risks. I am shocked that anyone choosing homebirth isn't aware of that.
I didn't see who thought the CPM license shouldn't even exist. Why is anyone attacking their very existence? How awful! My understanding is that the CPM is the new version of the old fashioned lay midwife who learned almost everything as an apprentice and could have plenty of gaps and weaknesses in her training and professional conduct. Now with the current licensing, this community is a lot better than it was, and because it is so much better and the other choices so few, all kinds of women are flocking to them. Some lay midwives have always been more expert than others, some better than docs and some worse and some not much better than the grandma next door. And they are constantly pointed at throughout modern history as in need of external control ever since the clean and hyper-controlled, well-equipped version of institutional care came into being. There have been many many attempts at such control, and I think internal regulation by other midwives is absolutely the best. Anything else and there ain't no "homebirth community" to question. For those who don't think there should be any CPMs, why not just choose not to use one yourself and leave other people's choices to them to be made freely? I am really offended that anyone at MDC would say my preferred birthing option shouldn't even exist. I feel deeply disrespected by such statements. I am extremely upset that this forum is used as a place for people to say that the entire homebirth community is the problem.
so i said..........
seriously?
like so , let me get this strait..
if someone joins into the 'trendy" homebirth clique and there baby dies, and then they say, "hey guys..lets have an honest discussion about what could be changed to help make this safer/better for woman" then what? how dare they suggest such a thing?!..obviously they are hip enough for homebirth....
sigh
do i get any bonus points on your coolness scale since everyone of my babies up until my 6 month old was born into the hands of a midwife? if i count correctly , that means i have been delivered by midwives more times than you. but, maybe , my daughter dying was just proof i was not "cool enough".
and , hey i have another question for "littlest bird"
do you use a licensed dentist? electrician? mortgage broker? do you routinely in your life settle for substandard, unlicensed care, or only when it comes to you baby's life?
from this thread i started on MDC. the first 10 pages had some real discussion, but on page 11 it falls apart thanks to people like this....
Originally Posted by littlest birds
Thank God my midwives practiced outside the law. That's the only way there was and that has been a common issue throughout the history of modern homebirth. Nobody made you do anything illegal, and I can't imagine a woman walking into homebirth without finding out its status in her area and then blaming the midwife for not mentioning it. Passive consumers are better served in the hospital IMO. I think it's rather a shame that homebirth became so trendy. People who don't really intend to face the risks of these types of attendants are doing so anyway, and then complaining about the differences. I wish hospitals were friendlier to women's birthing bodies and less frightening. They could then attract more of the women who aren't served well by homebirth. If the homebirth community, which is already learning all the time, and responding and changing over time, is inadequate FOR YOU then why not just take yourself another direction? And if you're not an informed consumer, it's probably the midwives who should be running away from you.
I think the shame is that women often lose their autonomy in the hospital experience, and so many turn to homebirth to be safe from that. They may not want the whole package of outsider health care. I do want the whole package. Unfortunately it seems mostly to be all or nothing. The only women who get real in-between choices are those in the lower-risk categories. And as many of us know, you can slip from low-risk to high-risk quite suddenly, so you can't even breathe easy about being low risk. Others are forced to choose between options such as automatic repeat c-section or "illegal" birth. So it is easy to see why women who don't really like the entire risk package choose homebirths. It's also easy to see how trained we are to be passive. Even here it has been said over and over that it is the attendant's responsibility if the mother is not informed. If you want your midwife to take on the level of responsibility of a physician, then you shouldn't choose a CPM homebirth. The qualifications for CPM midwives are so much different that I can hardly understand how people are surprised that the potential for error is also different.
Losing your baby, whatever your story, does not give you the right to propose to regulate away my birth options and freedoms. You need to be reforming maternity care inside the system if you want the built-in perks of that system. While I know that is much more difficult to change, I'd prefer that my outside options stay outside that system. I never claimed I was legal or low risk or anything like that and neither did my midwives. If you are getting into having a homebirth, you really do need to know what you are getting into. You really do need to inform yourself. You are stepping outside of the system. You really are taking some extra risks. I am shocked that anyone choosing homebirth isn't aware of that.
I didn't see who thought the CPM license shouldn't even exist. Why is anyone attacking their very existence? How awful! My understanding is that the CPM is the new version of the old fashioned lay midwife who learned almost everything as an apprentice and could have plenty of gaps and weaknesses in her training and professional conduct. Now with the current licensing, this community is a lot better than it was, and because it is so much better and the other choices so few, all kinds of women are flocking to them. Some lay midwives have always been more expert than others, some better than docs and some worse and some not much better than the grandma next door. And they are constantly pointed at throughout modern history as in need of external control ever since the clean and hyper-controlled, well-equipped version of institutional care came into being. There have been many many attempts at such control, and I think internal regulation by other midwives is absolutely the best. Anything else and there ain't no "homebirth community" to question. For those who don't think there should be any CPMs, why not just choose not to use one yourself and leave other people's choices to them to be made freely? I am really offended that anyone at MDC would say my preferred birthing option shouldn't even exist. I feel deeply disrespected by such statements. I am extremely upset that this forum is used as a place for people to say that the entire homebirth community is the problem.
so i said..........
seriously?
like so , let me get this strait..
if someone joins into the 'trendy" homebirth clique and there baby dies, and then they say, "hey guys..lets have an honest discussion about what could be changed to help make this safer/better for woman" then what? how dare they suggest such a thing?!..obviously they are hip enough for homebirth....
sigh
do i get any bonus points on your coolness scale since everyone of my babies up until my 6 month old was born into the hands of a midwife? if i count correctly , that means i have been delivered by midwives more times than you. but, maybe , my daughter dying was just proof i was not "cool enough".
and , hey i have another question for "littlest bird"
do you use a licensed dentist? electrician? mortgage broker? do you routinely in your life settle for substandard, unlicensed care, or only when it comes to you baby's life?
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
more ? seriously?
this morning, bright and early i went down to the hospital.The hospital i went to the week before Aquila was born. i had been having uterine irritability, 103 fever and Aquila's heart tones were in the 200's (yes you read that right- 200's)..Only Faith had given me Tylenol at home, which had lowered my fever and also put Aquila's heart tones back in the normal range...
this whole time, almost 15 months, i have assumed that that OB who i saw that day was slightly at fault. Fault for not getting more tests run or keeping me in the hospital that day..
because as you see here
fetal heartones over 180 are considered to be "Significant Fetal Tachycardia' and can be caused by two things:
1. Chorioamnionitis (especially if maternal fever) or
2. Fetal arrhythmia or congenital defect (FHR >200 bpm)
i had a fever of 103 and Aquila's heartones were 190-200+ .
but the Tylenol masked the symptoms, and according to the records i pulled today, Faith Beltz made no mention of the significant fetal tachycardia to the OB. So the OB , seeing normal heartones when i came in, assumed i was just sick with a virus...
But had Faith disclosed the 200+ hearttones, he would have most certainly insisted on the only treatment for Chorio- induction and IV antibiotics...
and Aquila would have been born a week earlier, alive.
this whole time, almost 15 months, i have assumed that that OB who i saw that day was slightly at fault. Fault for not getting more tests run or keeping me in the hospital that day..
because as you see here
fetal heartones over 180 are considered to be "Significant Fetal Tachycardia' and can be caused by two things:
1. Chorioamnionitis (especially if maternal fever) or
2. Fetal arrhythmia or congenital defect (FHR >200 bpm)
i had a fever of 103 and Aquila's heartones were 190-200+ .
but the Tylenol masked the symptoms, and according to the records i pulled today, Faith Beltz made no mention of the significant fetal tachycardia to the OB. So the OB , seeing normal heartones when i came in, assumed i was just sick with a virus...
But had Faith disclosed the 200+ hearttones, he would have most certainly insisted on the only treatment for Chorio- induction and IV antibiotics...
and Aquila would have been born a week earlier, alive.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
a friend's website
Sam's story
Little Sam was born on May 17th, 2010. His mother had an abruption and the homebirth midwife (CPM) missed an abruption until it was almost too late for little Sam. He was saved, but suffered major brain damage. His mother barely made it. Sam's case was heard in front of the same board who heard my case- the case is still open, although they gave probated suspension..but the midwife will almost assuredly be arguing the ruling.
Sam's midwife was Cathy Rude ---- surprisingly enough- also an ATM board member (just like Faith Beltz)
Little Sam was born on May 17th, 2010. His mother had an abruption and the homebirth midwife (CPM) missed an abruption until it was almost too late for little Sam. He was saved, but suffered major brain damage. His mother barely made it. Sam's case was heard in front of the same board who heard my case- the case is still open, although they gave probated suspension..but the midwife will almost assuredly be arguing the ruling.
Sam's midwife was Cathy Rude ---- surprisingly enough- also an ATM board member (just like Faith Beltz)
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
it is finished
so , 6 days later than legally they had to post it- the midwifery board posted the slap on the wrist that Faith Beltz CPM received for her negligence.
here
quoted from above:
Beltz, Faith Midwife 04005 Austin 22 TAC §831.58, 831.65 and 831.131-Related to failure to complete the Informed Choice and disclosure Form required by state law for a client and failure to perform an initial evaluation on client and failed to initiate immediate emergency transfer for chorio-amnionitis. 6 mo Probated Suspension and $500 Administrative Penalty 2/7/11
if you listen to the audio recordings from Sept, you will hear how her lawyer got them to re word the law quoted there, to make her sound better *insert rolling eyes*
here
quoted from above:
Beltz, Faith Midwife 04005 Austin 22 TAC §831.58, 831.65 and 831.131-Related to failure to complete the Informed Choice and disclosure Form required by state law for a client and failure to perform an initial evaluation on client and failed to initiate immediate emergency transfer for chorio-amnionitis. 6 mo Probated Suspension and $500 Administrative Penalty 2/7/11
if you listen to the audio recordings from Sept, you will hear how her lawyer got them to re word the law quoted there, to make her sound better *insert rolling eyes*
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