time marches on. the days pass. when your baby dies-you are sure that time will stop- should't it stop? Shouldn't the world cease it joyful spinning,if only for a day, a week, a year?
you cannot fathom 2 years away. time
without her too terrible to contemplate.
yet- the weeks creep by,pages relentlessly turn.
i am left with so much more of missing Aquila than i ever had of simply loving her. all the time i had to get to know her was hidden under my flesh her near my heart.It seems like, on days like these, she was just figment of my imagination- a private dream. She doesn't matter to the world anymore. To most she is merely something i should have gotten over by now. something that i am just stubbornly refusing to let go of.
No one says her name, hardly even me. I want to have her be part of normal conversations, but it so pains almost any audience- that whatever normalcy i tried for falls flat and heavy on the floor.
as my chaos slows after the move, i am left with deep and heavy sorrow. i miss her so much. How many ways can i say it? There should be a million words to describe the many ways that grief feels..like snow for Inuits.
