because sebastian is so cute

sebastian "skipped" his nap today, much to my annoyance. apparently now he can escape his crib, so escape he did..over and over.. then at TV time (4-5) he passed out..





so then, fast forward to dinner/dessart . dinner was spagetti (hence the face, adn deseart was strawberries. and for the first time , sebastian asked for them by name- feebaby..

little mamas

bubbles likes to tell me about when she was a baby. she says , her mama carried her on her back, and she wore cloth diapers, just like sweetpea..cute

yucky yucky permanency conference

permanency :
The quality or state of being permanent; continuance in the same state or place; duration; fixedness; as, the permanence of institutions; the permanence of nature.

Sweetpea's permanency conference was today, where they told him the goal was now adoption. it was very sad he was crying. he didn't understand most of what was told to him. they were lofty and used words he didn't know the definition of.
He says he DID go in for the paternity test, just last week. if that is true (and the test is pos)they will investigate his mother (to place sweetpea there).but i asked what will happen for visits if she goes to grama- they said he will still have to have supervised visits and that he cannot go over to grama's house. i dont know how "Down" with that grama will be. this is so not a clear cut case. we may lose our baby. we may not. there is no permanency here, they will drag this case out, and round and round like a cat with a mouse, for as long as it suits their purposes.
i just have to keep reminding myself that we are never promised another day with any of our kids-or even another day for ourselves on this earth. we have no plans that cannot change at the drop of a hat.i have to rest in the Lord's will and let that be sufficient.

busy busy

i haven't had much time to post- our household is SUPER busy (what with 6 8 and under and all!)
they are doing a home study on bubble's aunt, which might take about a month- so she will probably be there that long, but of course things can change at the 2 week hearing.
i am getting a little nervous about sweetpea's permanency conference , which is in two short days!! i hope everything goes swimmingly well.
i am trying to figure out something fun (that dosn't cost and arm and a leg) that we can all do as a huge family today. Gabe wants to go swimming- but the idea of taking 6 mostly non swimmers swimming sounds like SCARY to me. plus i burn and don't typically get anywhere near a pool in the summer during daylight hours..
yesterday was Gabe's 32nd birthday--GO DADDY!!!

Bubbles

that's what i will call her, as she is bubbling with joy and energy. she is getting along great, allthough the whole sharing everything (including mommy) has been a little rough for Lucca . :(
we shopped like mad yesterday, and i got my first chance to play with her hair. i bought organic cocconut oil and washed out all the patrolium crude in there. now she smells so good and her hair is so soft!
my worker said something yesterday about CPS trying to line up a relative placement for her, so we have no idea how long she'll be here.

welcome to ???

i haven't thought of a "screen name" for our newest little yet- i need to get working on that!!
she came right after dinner last night. so far she is a little angel :) she LOVES babies, so she got to hold sweetpea and LOVED it. she also liked the guinea pig and our basset hound. her and lucca played dollys and she took a bath and then it was bedtime. it was very hard to get her to sleep. she was (justifiably) nervous being in a new house. she asked like 5 million questions. but fmostly she was excited to have a bed. she said with her mama she sleeps on the floor and at her mama's friends house she sleeps on the couch. so when she got her own bed with a fairy bower she though that was pretty cool.
she had nothing accept a blanket from home, and a few pairs of underwear from the cps rainbow room, so today we will be hitting the stores (again)for clothes.i also need a car seat for her, and shoes (she only has flipflops). and i need to get some AA hair moisturizer and many more hair ties than i have.
more later....

ahhh

she's on her way RIGHT NOW. they found her-----
more later

new placement

we accepted placement of a four year old today, but CPS dosn't actually know where she is! apparently mom stashed her somewhere, but won't tell them where. crazy crazy. but, we are the comfirmed placement, so if they find her, she is coming here!
~~~busily getting ready~~~~

tax free, cost free shopping!

we got 150$ check card from our agency to buy clothes for sweetpea, and this weekend is tax free for texas, so i had fun!
thrift store:


and these are from the mall and a local *expensive* shop that shall remain nameless.

inspired

so a blog i read inspired me to try dying diapers. i thought if she can so it , pregnant with her second set of twins, i should be able to right?
so i went for it. i have done two sessions so far, one in teal, and another with a purple batch and a lime green one. here is some of what i got-

dissapointed>re:lactavism

well i got a text message last night saying:
"i have decided to quit breasfeeding , it's just not for me.."

LOL my instant thought was, "duh it's not for you, it's for the babies!"
but alas ..sigh
well at least those beautiful twins got 6 weeks of mama milk.
i am , of course dissapointed...

Laminin

laminin on a blog i read

GAL + great news

i met with sweetpea's GAL, or attorney ad litem yesterday. i would say it went swimmingly well!
she told me this case has seemed to her and everyone else like a termination case from the beginning. she said they would not be reunifying with biomom at 18 months because that is too long for sweetpea to wait around. she also said that since biodad didn't show up for his paternity test, they won't be placing sweetpea with his mother, since it isn't established that she is a relative. she said they will set the termination trial at the oct review hearing, probably for dec or nov!!!!
so we are looking at an awesome Christmas present :)

persistent

someone once told me i sure was persistent.
well he nailed that one. LOL
i spent a good portion of yesterday and the previous day pep-talking (RARA!) Angel into nursing the twin that's home. whenever i talk to her i really think i am getting through, and she thanks me for helping her..but then next time i talk to her she will have given her bottles again. but i really expanded on the idea of supply vs demand yesterday. i even went so far as to say Breastfeeding is simple, put baby to breast, nothing else!
the littler twin is coming home maybe this weekend, so if she truely wants to BF she needs to DO it now, before it becomes way daunting..
i should be spending all my free time up there when they are both home to help her out.

on another note, Sweetpea's lawyer (the one who hasn't shown up to any court dates!) is finally going to meet us. i called (three times) to demand a meeting. ummm persistant?...who me?

update

so i emailed sweetpeas worker, to ask if they have the paternity test back- the one done 4 weeks ago. she tells me that he never showed up for his test!!!! seriously? i emailed her like two times four weeks ago to ask if he had, she never responded. and i asked him at the visit if he had, he said yes!
but on a brighter note, the worker said his goal has changed from reunification to termination !!! i don't know what that means in regards to mom or grama, but it's a start :)

indroducing pollyanna

lucca's new best friend. she is a 7 week old guinea pig and sweet as anything.

lactavist

apparently i am a lactavist snob.. i think Angel's nursing will be done within the week, potentially the month. it's beyond frustrating for me. i know i shouldn't be judgemental, but this is HARD...
it just strikes me as ironic that here i am, with a baby i cannot nurse, but would LOVE to, and here she sits able to nurse, but not wanting to...
sigh