i should be freaked out right?

i should be, but i am not. i came to rest in the Lord on this issue with sweetpea's grama a few weeks ago.i surrendered to the Lord. After all, it is up to him no matter how much i fret and worry.
i have gone through so many highs and lows over this last 8 months. at the highs i threw myself into being sweetpea's mama, and planning for her future with us( playing a pretend game that never included anything sad). the low times i retreated slightly. not in action, just in heart, planning for her to leave... Now i really feel neither. it does not matter what happens tomorrow, for today she is mine. my baby. the baby i smell her head and swoon, the baby who greets me with a two-toothed grin and a chuckle.my baby who wraps herself around me to snuggle. she will always be mine, no matter where she is tomorrow...
we are never promised another day, for any of our children or ourselves. I just praise the Lord he gave me today with all my children. He has been so good!