Monday, November 17, 2008

just curious


anyone reading my blog , please tell me what you think.
i read a heated debate on one of my foster parent boards about the right/wrongness of asking for donations and/or fundraising by selling things for the purpose of international adoption. what are your thoughts? i never realized people would have such a veminant distaste for these practices. seems to me that if i couldn't/wouldn't adopt that at least i could help someone else adopt?? but people were saying things to the tune of if you can't afford to adopt you should be allowed to. but many we are talking from $15-40k. i would love to adopt internationally but it is a very hug hurdle.
so should you have to be rich to adopt?

9 comments:

Birthblessed said...

I always stop when I see a garage sale advertising that they are raising funds for adoption. That's cool.

However, I did have an adoptive mother tell me that they never, ever talk about how much adoption costs in front of the children.... I don't totally get that, but maybe I'm not supposed to whine to my kids that they are costing me an arm and a leg! ;)

D said...

One of my rants last yr was when we sent away out of curiosity to a well known chinese adoption "service". The prices for each country was in the paperwork.
With travel it was more like 50-60K! I knew it was expensive, but not that expensive. My thing is, don't say there is NO baby buying going on here. If you pay that much money to adopt you bought a baby. I KNOW WE DID. Our 19 yr old cost us alot of money. Let's just say we could have had a house in some places with what we paid. I don't have a problem with it. But until it's free or next to free...money exchanges hands for that baby.
anywayyyyyyyyyyy..that was not your question. I see nothing wrong with it at all. These people aren't trying to raise 1000.00 to get a baby home, they are trying to raise thousands of dollars. NO children would be adopted under the "if you can't afford" thought and I dare to say not many "home made" would be here either, if we waited til we could afford it!
By the way, I tell my daughter how much she cost us all the time. She takes great pride in what we had to do to make her our daughter.
The 2 homemade one's are disappointed because they only cost 25.00!

Liz said...

D- lol about your two homemade ones being dissapointed!

mary grace said...

Which boards are you on? :-)

Personally, I don't have a problem with it. God calls some to help through being field workers, and others to support the mission. That's just how I see it.

Liz said...

fosterparents.com
:)

Liz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Deb said...

I never encountered any negativity when we were fundraising for our adoption.
It's expensive. But what people think is that if you can't afford to adopt you can't afford to care for a child. They don't realize how much it costs to adopt.

Birthblessed, the reason it's not great to talk about the cost to your kids is because they may one day comment on how much he/she cost. I've heard many kids talk about buying their sibling from a country. Ouch!

Unknown said...

When my ex and I looked into adoption and found that the price was upwards of 20-40k..which at that time was our annual income..We could not do it. When asked how we thought we could afford to raise a child if we couldnt come up with the payments on a $20,000 loan...I was aphalled. Those kids that would love to have a home...but those of us willing to give a home...cant afford to intitial fees..

Shelley said...

I don't think there's anything wrong with fundraising or asking for donations. Adoption is expensive...a lot of upfront costs that doesn't come when you give birth. My response to those foster parents would be are they taking money to be foster parents? If so, then by their reasoning, they shouldn't be foster parents. How is taking money from the government any different than asking for donations? We don't get any money for our children who we adopted. Foster parents usually do. Now, if you want to open up a huge chan of worms, you can mention that :)
I've been offended one too many times by people who make comments like that to me.