my hot hubby

so for months now Gabe has been working out- 5-days-a-week!! he has lost alot of pounds and is getting ripped. yummy...
and last night he came home with my FAVORITE flowers- white lillys mostly closed. as they open they fill the house with my favorite scent in the whole world...

homeschool day at seaworld

gabe took kiryn, tristan and lucca to homeschool day at seaworld last week- it is SO MUCH FUN and only 8$ a ticket!

so Sebastian and Bubbles are coughing and feverish. poor babies.
i swear i have no idea why someone is always sick. my house is messy, but not unsanitary. we wash our hands. we don't eat very much sugar (by we i mean everyone but me!) the kids go to the Y nursery, and my bible study's childcare- but for goodness sake, i am still nursing Sebastian,shouldn't he be well!!???
oh well- this germ isn't so bad, it just cancelled us getting to go out to my Inlaw's house in Wimberley. this was a bummer, cause i need to.get.out.of.this.house!
but at least they took the well ones (kiryn, tristan, lucca) till Thursday. our house is QUIET with only three....to bad it is the three messiest ones!


on other fronts:

i have two friends whose husbands are/have walked/walking out on them. Bummer

Bubbles aunt passed her homestudy and she will be moving there within two weeks- YAY for bubbles!!

i am 99% sure i will be pulling kiryn out of school when the break ends. i am still waiting to try out some actual schooling (since he is at grama's right now) , but i developed a good reward system, which i think will help him in the house behaviorly. i have also been working out a good schedual- my problem is curriculum.
i am waiting on my free sample of rod and staff math curriculum. i really like math u see, but it is so expensive..

more good news

sweetpea's worker came by this afternoon. she said that dad has worked nothing on his case plan since the permanency conference. she also doesn't think grama understands that by taking sweetpea she would be signing up to adopt (inn her 60s) that this is no temporary placement. she also is having problems getting ahold of her.
so, she apparently still thinks it is going to adoption. also the court date we were told was on the 22nd of oct, she is saying is actually on the 8th! which means we don't have much time to wait to find out what is going to happen :)

GAL called back!!!!

whoho! my agency/worker has been pestering the sh*! out of her for a week and she called me today. i updated her on the case, because of course why would she read the case files? and she said that if grama is going to be as unrelable as dad, then she didn't see why they should waste the time on a home study. then she said she would call the worker and tallk to her about this, and call me when she has news. ~~~~fingers crossed!~~~~~

visit

today sweetpea was supposed to see her dad (first time in one month) and her grama (the one who they are doing the home study one-first time in two months) but they called and cancelled. i don't know how to feel about this! noone- not the GAL or the caseworker will tell me anything about direction or trajectory of the case. i this waiting..... but look how sweet my baby's hair looks in the bath!

1 two year old + 10 minutes = disaster

lol. Sebastian likes to get into the pantry and help himself to cookies. this time however, he somehow managed to open a bag of noodles, and the TUB of oat meal, spilling 2-4 pounds of oatmeal on the ground. now it is in the sensory table. the picture was taken after most of the oatmeal was swept up- that hallway was beautiful 10 minutes before..then the spill, then the girls "helped" leaving their babies and baby accouterments behind... sigh.. the mess will drive me mad !

tagged

ok Mary Grace-

The "rules" of the game are as follows:
1. Post the rules on your blog
2. Write 6 random things about yourself
3. Tag 6 people at the end of your post
4. If you're tagged, DO IT and pass on the tag

1. when i was a child i decided i was either going to have one daughter (like my mom) or twins (boy/girl). LOL that one went out the window with Kiryn's birth! hehe

2. Whenever someone asks how i met my husband i have to tell them that we met on Match.com...lol our first "date" was swimming with his 13 month old (tristan) and my 2 1/2 year old (kiryn). i knew the minute i saw him i was going to marry him :)

3. i love brewers/nutritional yeast..like LOVE it..eat it with a spoon, lick the bottom of the popcorn bowl LOVE it!

4. my favorite class in college was anthropology.

5. hats i have worn since the birth of kiryn 8 years ago- at-home-daycare provider, nanny, mother's helper, live-in nanny, prescool lead teacher, toddler lead teacher, subsiture early childhood teacher, at-home cdaycare provider (again), buisness owner (slings, baby clothes, baby shoes), post-partum doula. whew! that's all in 8 years..oh and raising 4 kiddos and now two (plus) fostered!

6. i want like 10 kids, my husband thinks i may be missing an essential piece of my brain called caution, or perhaps reason!

i am tagging-
1. jill- beacause i read her blog EVERY day!
2. Jennifer- because i miss her!
3. laurie- because i want to know more about her
4. D- because she is a fellow foster parent
5. amy- because she is my ITRW friend :)
6. amanda- becasue she hasn't posted in a LONg time and she is such a neat, crafty lady!

salmonella !!

poor sweetpea- poor all of us
i took sweetpea to the doctor last sat, and had to collect "samples" to give them. tonight they called me to tell me she/we had/have salmonella!! yikes
poor baby.
no wonder this was so VIOLENT and RELENTLESS and LONGLASTING. sheesh

wanting spiritual fruits (not religious nuts!)

so i am going to attempt to type all (or some) of the that accompany the work God is doing in my heart right now.
thinking of losing sweetpea is HARD. i get discouraged. i went to the church that my kiddos do AWANAS at this past sunday. my hubby usually goes but i needed a break from the littles, so he kept them at home i took the big ones to AWANAS.
to hear the sermon click here, scroll down to Genesis 12.
anyhow the pastor was talking about how the bible tells the same story over and over- God makes promises for certian things-usually blessings of the womb or of a homeland, then those promises are put in jepordy and it looks like they will not come to pass. but hose who love God still believe in God's promises, and then the are fufilled (though those who were promised sometimes do not see the full fufillment)
anyhow the pastor asked how we could doubt our faithful God and i was struck with tears. i have been so doubtful in this situation- and the TRUTH is EVEN IF sweetpea does not stay, God put this in my heart, and God's heart is for adoption and there IS a purpose, and he will complete this- which brings me to a passage i read in my last year's bible study in the amplified bible which speaks of this
Psalm 57:2i will cry to God most high, who preforms on my behalf and rewards me-who brings to pass his purposes for me and surely completes them!
and the pastor later in the sermon asked- are you in love with the promises of God or the God of promises? and truely if our eyes are on God, nothing else matters. when we desire his will good things come-
romans 8:28
and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
AMEN!

we are better!

aside from some stuffy noses, we are all good! the baby is still super fussy, but i am not sure if that may be from teething???
its been cool here the last few days, which is a great blessing- i actually have the windows open :)

can't wait

homeschooling?

so amidst the chaos, i have become overwhelmingly convicted that i should go back to homeschooling Kiryn. School is not the end all be all. they are doing worksheets about money with him. this for the kid who has been using, counting and even figuring tax on REAL money for THREE years. he is bored. i am petrified at the thought of #1 bring him home and having to DEAL with him all day , every day. that kiddo could grate any ones Patience. he has willpower to spare, and sass to match. and #2 the responsibility of EDUCATING him . i mean the kid cant read well yet. he s doing "work" and i am a dismal failure at keeping a schedule. i h8 busy work. i h8 school work. how is he going to like it?
argh.
i know what i need to do, but it makes my stomach do flip flops and keeps me awake at night.

still sick....when will it end ?!!!?????????????

sigh. well at least Lucca is better.
Sebastian is a whining, crying, coughing, nose-running barnicle on my leg.
Sweetpea STILL poops every..i don't know 30 minutes? poor baby. She is a whiney, fussy ham chunk on my hip. and now poor Bubbles has a nose that won't stop..
i havn't worked out in TWO WEEKS people. i had to miss my bible study and our preschool co-op last week. i am going stir crazy- locked up this house with unhappy , oozing children. wiping, wiping. butts, noses, chins....it never ends.

arrrggghhhh

i have no more left in me..seriously.
Lucca will seem better, then its back to crying about her neck again. she barely has a fever (a little over 99) and last night at the docs it was 101.4, so i figure she can't have menengitis if her fever is going down right? but what the heck is wrong with her neck? pardon the pun. it developed during the day, not after sleeping. she wasn't injured.
and now sebastian is coughing and coughing. seriously...i am so close to tears. i can't handle the stress of worrying about my kids, trying to make appointments/judgment calls...and this moring (8 am!)
to top it off bubble's worker wanted to stop in and she stayed for an hour ..sigh ..microscope anyone?

we got back from the doctor and lucca is doing better, after some motrin. as long as keeps doing better with the motrin we don't have to go into the ER. if she gets worse we do..so yay :) so far...

and more

i started to type this morning a cheerful post about how everyone is looking better, but it never got posted because my computer crashed. but now its a mute point , since it is outdated!
my poor sweetpea has had so much diarreah that her but hurts too much for her to sit...even with diaper cream. she has NEVER had a diaper rash.
and worse, Lucca got up from nap with a very stiff and painful neck and aversion to bright light, and another fever. so we are going into the doctor in an hour. pray for her if you read this!

still sick and paternity results

everyone is dropping like flys. i am just this morning able to eat anything- its been three days and a loss of 10 pounds and most of my milk. which sucks for sebastian, as all he wants is milk since he STILL has diarrhea. Lucca is still pretty ill and now Gabe and kiryn and (i think) sweetpea are all coming down with it. this bug doesn't mess around i will tell you what. the stomach cramps are liken to being knifed in the belly.
and on a just as yucky note. upon turning on my poor neglected computer, i find sweetpea's worker email me and sweetpea's dad is her dad. so this means they will do a home study on his mom, and our little baby could potentially leave us.
yucky day

sick sick sick

poor me, and poor lucca. we were SO sick yesterday/last night. we are both still sick, but not as bad. yesterday my fever was 102.3 ! and the headache with this bug is not messing around. split your head open headache. crying in the middle of the night headache. we are/were a mess.

breastmilk butter

now, you must know i hesitated writing this post, because i was afraid some of you might be so grossed out you would stop reading my blog. but, my husband insisted i write it....
so , poor Sebastian has been sick yesterday and today. no fun fever and terrible diarreah sick. poor baby. anywho, he had been potty-trianed, in underwear for the last two weeks. but diareah can throw a wrench in any potty training success.and boy does it make for a nasty bum rash. and here i am with no disposables, only cloth. but you can't use diaper rah cream with cloth diapers, because it makes them no soak up anymore. so i had a brilliant idea , after remebering two post i read on motheringdotcommune a little while back... one was about uses for breastmilk , one of them was for diaper rashes. the other post was about how someone had (accidentaly) made breastmilk butter when blending her milk (i don't know WHY she was blending her milk, but i digress). So i put 1 and 2 together and decided to make some "diaper cream"AKA breastmilk butter for his poor bum. so i did. i made butter. from my own milk. i rock. lol