shortly after Willow's birth i was ready to pack up and move away...to Kentucky...how random does that sound??
I have always wanted horses as long as i can remember and grew weary of Texan summers mixed with red hair and freckled skin years ago. I wanted a farm where the kids could run and i could fulfill my lifelong dream. Added to that was the constant reminder of my daughter's death when i am showering , or sitting in my living room. i am afraid to go to any parent type groups or LLL meetings, for fear of running into someone who knows my story, or worse yet someone who wants to go on and on about how wonderful homebirth is. My biggest fear is running into someone who had Faith Beltz as their midwife. i don't think i could deal with it. So we became recluses. And i began planning our move.
Trouble is my plan was not God's plan (at least not yet). God's plan was that i take on two children near and dear to my heart to keep them from getting swallowed up in the system. to give their mother a chance to get it together. So for now we sit, and wait.
Kentucky is on hold, and i am holding, holding....
i just keep chanting---- this isn't about me...this isn't about me....
10 comments:
Liz,
We picked up and left California 5 years ago...for Nebraska!! It sounded totally crazy but it was exactly what we needed. The timing has to be right. Which I underand. Are you not allowed to move while fostering?
If you ever want a roadtrip you have a friend in Nebraska!!
Stacey
WWW.papillionmom.com
So true. Sometimes what we want and what God deems the best for us are two polar extremes. But, how wonderful and rich our lives are when we do serve Him.God bless you.
Oh lovely internet friend who I do not know at all, and yet care for deeply. As God unfolds His plans for you, may you blessed with strength and peace and courage and joy in great abundance. much love to you.
We would love to have you in KY! God's timing is always best though. :)
Love the photo of all the kids together!
I wish that would run into you - somewhere sometime. I think that I would recognize you. You are an incredible woman. If you move - please keep your blog.
Love,
KA
I've found time and time again that His plans are quite often not what I would have chosen for myself, but they're always the right thing :) Though it would be lovely if you moved to KY, because I'm just up here in Indiana!
Liz,
Your strength never ceases to amaze me. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to relive those awful memories each day. I don't know that I could do it. I wish you continued courage on this difficult path.
Hi Liz,
Our family is in Austin now, and you are always welcome at our house. There will be no mention of any of those topics! And, if you ever want to go somewhere and fear the MW followers, just call me, I will come with you and be your personal velociraptor. Not kidding!
About moving- I move all the time, I've lived in 14 different citeies and 2 countries. Last month we all picked up and left Mexico, and here we are. While we don't have so many kids (yet) a trip with 5 animals, a baby and two adults, in a Mazda 3, was enough to make all our friends cringe. But it was cool, we got where we were going.
If you can't move but want to, the best thing is to act like you're in a new city. Austin may seem small, but I bet there are lots to do that you haven't thought of, with people that don't know you. (I've done this after a bad break up, when we shared friends and hobbies)
You're amazing! )))hugs(((((
I agree with Donna. : )
((hug))
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