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Bertha is recovering from surgery. poor . and now Sebastian has woken up from nap with 103.8 fever, yikes! we spent all morning (till 1) running errands and now we are home but everything is a disater and i have a baby and sick toddler to hold, so everything will have to stay crazy. at least i started a roast in crockpot this morning!

dinner of the day 1-25-09

my last minute squash casserole
this was a "oh no, it's 4 and i have no idea what i will cook and no meat defrosted.."
so i looked through the fridge freezer and pantry and here's what i came up with
saute 1/2 and onion , 2 cloves garlic and 1 diced bell pepper in olive oil-
put in casserole dish with about 2-3 cups frozen corn and two med chopped yellow squash and two zucchinis chopped. next pour on one can creamed corn, then one can diced tomatoes and finally 2 cups shredded Monterrey jack. bake at 350 or 30-40 min
and what you have is something light with a little kick. i served it with warm tortillas.

not a happy basset and other doggie news

our poor basset Bertha :( she has a rotten tooth AND her lump is reinfected and needs to be removed. so on tues she goes in for doggy surgery and for now she is on antibiotics and painkillers. poor pup. and ouch for the estimated vet bill..can you guess how much it will be?

and we got word today that our foster dachshund Tootie is going to her "furever" home on friday. and the rescue lady didn't miss a beat i tell you what!she immediately said she had another doggie for us to foster. he was emaciated when they got him and has permanent scars on his little 7 pound neck from being chained outside. poor baby!

face book, oh my!

so, i have officially discovered facebook. i am "in the loop" as they say. what a trip! i am seeing people i haven't seen in ten years. wow .. seriously the memories were making it difficult to sleep last night!
i have a crazy past, to say the least...and i havn't thought about who i was very much. i know i am a new creation in Christ, and usually i am content to rest in where i am and where God is taking me next...honestly if you don't want to visit memory lane, don't join facebook! LOL
here i am . where are you>>

Phone call!

r

Both parent's parental rights are terminated!!
PRAISE THE LORD!

inauguration baby

Sweet pea turned 1 yesterday. what an amazing day for an African American baby- turning 1 on the day the united states swears in it's first African American president. We will be celebrating on Friday which is our Gottcha-day, since we got her at three days old one year ago!!
This is her custom made 1st birthday outfit, so she can celebrate in style :)

read this post

it's a dad's perspective on special needs adoption- i found it very engaging :
here

news

no news on if the judge has terminated, BUT CPS has stopped all visits with grama and dad! WHOHO!

and on other news we will be meeting a young lady (16) and her 2 week old daughter tomorrow (hopefully) to see if they might be a match for our home....

come on guys

the lack of comments is depressing!

dogs

peace and other emotions

now, I am going to try to encapsulate the emotions and thoughts that have been going through me over the last few days, so bear with me if this post rambles a bit...
I want sweetpea, no doubt..want her with a dry ache. But with this constant want inside, my prayers are rarely that. I have always prayed for God's will, and thrown in a few "but if you wouldn't mind..." 's for good measure-
Over the last few days i have been thinking so much about Abraham and Isaac and about Job. i have been thinking about sacrifices God calls us to make. I have never felt a for-sureness about sweetpea's potential for permanency in our family. I don't know if God wants her here for keeps, I don't know if God wants to take her away, for other better plans. What's hard is the longer this goes on the more my own wants cloud out what God may want or call me to do...and i think how Abraham waited for 100 years for Isaac, only to be called to give him back to the Lord. And then , after Abraham obeyed without complaint, God provided a substitute for his sacrifice. and then i keep thinking of this verse
luke 12:48
Much will be required from everyone to whom much has been given. But even more will be demanded from the one to whom much has been entrusted.
and also of something someone told me about months ago, which i later found here-
woman who lost her baby right after birth writes this:
"Job said it best in the wake of losing all he valued on earth: “The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” That conveys our feelings better than anything we could say. The Lord gave us Priya, and He has chosen by His gracious will to take her away. Blessed be his Name. Her life was an undeserved gift to us. We wouldn’t trade one moment of the seven months we had with her. And we praise God for it from beginning to end. We don’t know the reason why she was taken, but we know the God who made the decision. And he is enough for us. He is our glory and strength. We want to praise Him right now as the God of all grace and comfort. He has been our truest and most constant companion in the midst of all this."



I have been thinking that is Sweetpea stays, it will be a miracle, worth rejoicing and praising- a testament of God's goodness...But, if she leaves won't it still be a testament to God's goodness? He is still holy. no matter what the circumstances. and i do KNOW that Sweetpea will know the Lord. she has been marked by God from countless people's prayers over her for her whole life now-
I remember i wanted to foster because it broke my heart that there were children floating around among us who no one cared about, no one prayed for. Just drifting... ANd here i have this baby lathered in prayer, and i know that God is good, and God cares for Sweetpea. And, even if she goes i will be praising God for letting me do his will...

the wheels of justice...

move slow in Williamson County. sigh...so i was at court for almost 8 hours today- and the worst part was i had to sit in the HALLWAY for almost the whole thing- all witnesses had to be out of the court room and i was supposed to be a witness, then at almost the end they decided they did not need me-
so everything i know came second hand- the dad and grama "dug themselves holes" according to my caseworker, my friend, and sweetpea's attorney. according to the attorney CPS will no longer be considering Grama as a potential placement. the judge did not rule- he felt he did not have enough to terminate on mom, so he was going to review some case law and then reach his decision. he will then mail a letter to all the attorneys who will then (hopefully in a timely manner) inform me!
Part of me is very sad about not having a final decision today- part of me is worried about the nightmare that will ensue if mom's rights are NOT terminated- and part of me is excited that it looks like us adopting is the most likely scenario.

one day

tomorrow many things could change.. it's the day of possibilities.. possible endings, possible beginnings- who knows? the waiting is killer :(

first stitches

in a family of our size (especially with 3 boys!) one would expect i have seen a few sets of stitches, maybe a few broken bones, but i have not- not once!
last night after bath Lucca was running, chasing the puppies -totally breaking rule #1 by running in the house and she slipped on a mat on the entryway tile and caught her fall with her poor little chin! :(
two hours and four stitches later she was back home and in bed. and guess what day i have to go back to get her stitches out? well, Monday of course! (same day as court)
and speaking of court- the GAL called yesterday and said that the only thing judge should be deciding in termination of parental placement- she said they would need to set another court day to determine placement (because CPS wants her with Grama and GAL wants her with me). so more waiting of a-yet-to-be-determined timeframe...sigh

mediation

i talked to sweetpea's GAL at about 11 am yesterday- she told me CPS wanted parents to volunteeraly give up rights to Grama to adopt- the GAL said heck NO , she did NOT approve of moving her (there or anywhere). she told me they were still deliberating and she would call me back- i waited ALL DAY LONg, no call. so i called her this morning and got her secretary who said they had not reached any agreement and it would have to be deided by the judge on monday. SO the wait continues... and we have NO IDEA what Monday will bring- so i could certainly use some massive prayer before and during court (9am)- thank you :)

buying used, saving the difference??

no more it seems.. no more work at home moms making stuff and selling it to put food on the table..
This new Law will put an end to thrift stores, consignment stores and small business who who sell children's products, clothes and toys.
i am devastated. i buy used, i buy handmade. i don't think many families could survive without thrift stores. And, from the prospective of having been a small business owner years ago (making and selling children's clothes, shoes and baby slings)i can begin to imagine how detrimental this will be for all those parents who do the same.
I feel sick over this really...

homestudy turned in

sweetpea's worker received Grama's homestudy back, and was kind enough to forward it to me- they are still waiting on talking to her other grown children, but the homestudy is pretty good. defiantly CPS good at least. my heart is breaking because i can see Grama as a woman who wants her granddaughter.
whenever I can slip into seeing things more black white it is easier, so naturally the opposite (muddied greys) are much harder...