hello out there in Blogger land-
i know that a whole buncha people are reading and not posting anything. This blog is (right now)my way to feel connected, to share, to show Aquila to the world.
i was telling my husband last night- one of the things that sucks about having a dead child (there are so many) is that i don't get to show her off. the only pictures i have are the only ones i will ever have. she won't ever do anything new that i can tell you about... all i can tell you about is me and my journey. and i love love when i get comments- because that turns it into a conversation instead of me feeling like i am rambling to myself...haha
so de-lurk yourselves please! who is reading? how did you find this blog?? what do you think ??
share :)
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3 years ago
27 comments:
Hello!
I came to your site through another blog and I have been so interested in the work you do. Your dedication to children is remarkable.
I pray that you are able to work through the loss of your daughter.
All the best,
Julia
If you need anything, don't hesitate to contact me. ((hugs))
hello liz! i found your blog through mothering and have been reading it interested in your foster family adventures. i am so heartbroken to hear of the painful loss of your beautiful daughter. <3 thinking about you and your family lots and lots!
Hi Liz! I too found your blog through MDC and enjoyed reading about your fostering adventures from time to time. My husband and I are set on adopting out of foster care in about 5 years so I live vicariously through others for now. The support I've received in the loss forums at MDC has been invaluable and I don't know what I would do without those ladies. I have been enjoying seeing your art. It is so painfully beautiful.
Dear sweet mama,
I came to your blog through MDC. I wish today was different for you too, and there were new pictures to post of your sweet babe. I am so very very sorry.I wish there were better words that could encompass your sadness and hold it tight for a time.(hugs)
I'm a birth doula that is working on better ways to support parents who have lost a child, either during pregnancy or after.I'm learning to truly listen and be unafraid of grief and be an honest support to my clients. This is not a path that I have walked myself, but I have supported friends during pregnancy loss.
I'm also a Christian with 3 boys of my own and am currently wading in to foster/adopt through our local DSHS.
Homestudies make me a little crazy since we're pretty crunchy with our parenting and somtimes that seems to rub social workers the wrong way.(we're updating our original homestudy next month since we ended up waiting until our middle child's health stabilized)
Thank you for letting me share in your family,grief,faith and everything in between.I know we've never "met" and I'm a total stranger, but if I can help listen I surely will..and anything else :)
sending blessings of peace for all of you,
whitney
I'm sorry. It never occurred to me that people might not like gawkers. But I guess I can see what you mean. You are pouring your soul out and no one responds. I found your blog on mdc but never commented because I didn't have a google account. I do now:) Anyway I check daily to see how you are. That's really all it is. I wonder and hope that your faith is sustaining you, and I look to see if you've posted any pictures of Aquila. She was gorgeous and the photos you had online of her were beautiful. I was disappointed when you removed them, though I understand. I read somewhere (I think on mdc) that you felt she didn't look right because of how much time had passed, but I didn't see that in the photos. She looked like a beautiful, peaceful sleeping baby to me. Your art is breathtaking. I was very moved by it. So, how are you doing? I pray that you are feeling God's tender love at this time in your life. You have a beautiful family! You are very blessed (and I can tell that you know that) though you are hurting right now. God bless you and your family.
Dear Liz,
I'm an AustinMama and have followed your blog and participated in your Red Tent.
I've never commented before mostly because I just don't feel I have any words that would help. You and your family are in my thoughts though.
Hugs, Julie
liz, i think whitney hit the nail on the head when she voiced our need "to learn to truly listen and not be afraid of grief." I know when our Sara died it felt like a blow from which i would never recover. As time went on I learned to live with it. I don't like it but it no longer eats at me. I KNOW YOU WILL ALSO HEAL AND MAKE PEACE WITH THIS TRAGIC EVENT. Please trust me on this. And let your husband's loving kindness support your heart in its grief.
love to each
rebekah/mom
Liz,
I found your blog through MDC's Birth Stories forum.
Thank you for sharing Aquila with us and her story. She is a beautiful baby girl! I am so sorry that her time with you was so short.
May God continue to comfort you and be constantly at your side. And as much as your arms ache, be comforted that she is in the arms of her Father, listening to glorious angel lullabies.
Hi Liz,
I've been reading your blog for a while now. I met Amy through Austin Mamas and I found your blog through hers...
I have been following everything with you and just reading and crying and praying with you. I don't know what else to say, mama. God bless you.
Susan
Hi Liz... I found your blog via Amy Jones and Facebook. My heart just kind of sank. We lost a son to SIDS at age 3 months back in 1996 and so my heart has a soft spot for anyone who has to face the death of a child and the dreams that go with it.
I am praying for you and walking back here in the shadows as you begin to climb the mountain of grief. By the way, not sure if you feel it (I did) but that big weird lump in your chest is the scream trapped inside. It hurt for so long and one day I just was in the middle of nowhere and started screaming and screamed until I couldn't anymore... and really, it helped.
One more thing... when I was angry at God (and I was), somebody told me something... He knows it, and He has big shoulders to take it.
Aquila's physical form was beautiful, but the spirit of her and the memory however brief she left behind is even more beautiful.
~Becca
Hi,
I found you through Austin Mama's. I'm even bringing you dinner next week :)
Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
Holly
I'm an Austin Mama too, and I think of you all the time.
Hugs . . .
Light to you... Love to you Mama. I came this way from MDC. Bless you... I wish there was some way...
Hi Liz, I found you through AustinMamas and have been following your journey and praying for you. I read your posts and cry a lot ... I want you to know that your readers may not be in the physical room with you when you are hurting, but we are in the larger space of this earth sharing in your pain and sending you much love and support.
hello I have commented before when you first told us about your beautiful baby girl. I hope that you are finding the strength to get through the days.
I came from Heathers twinsanity blog.
Take care of you and yours.
Hi Liz
I first met you at the AM soupswap at Amy's. I've commented on your blog before so you know I'm here reading and grieving along with you. I love that you have art as an outlet. Your sculpture made me gasp.
Ruth
hi
i came to your sitte via another blog i read. i am so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter.
Liz, you sent me this link and I'm so glad that you still have the courage to voice this. *hugs*
Mehvish
Hi Liz, I go to Gateway and am friends with Karen Craxton. She said she felt led to send me your blog because our daughter Faith was born into heaven in 2005. Totally unexpected, full term. My heart grieves with you. I am so sorry for your loss. Your art is so beautiful and I am so grateful to see you surrounding yourself with the Word and being honest about how you're feeling and what you're experiencing. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I'm praying for peace for you in this moment.
-Lisa
Liz,
I caught up with your blog through facebook, and I'm so honored to be able to read your precious thoughts. I miss you and my other "Moms" (Mom's Together) so much. I'm so heart broken for your family. I cannot begin to imagine the pain you must all feel. I want you to know that you and your family have all been in my prayers over the last month. I pray that you all feel the peace and comfort that the Lord promises to give and that His healing will take place in your lives. We lost my father-in-law on Aquila's birthday, and that day will hold a special place in my heart for you, too. I also pray that her memory will glorify God and that she will be used to further His kingdom.
Christin
Hey. Saw you're comment on mothering many feet. And came to check out your blog. Our thoughts are with you, and your family.
you art is AMAZING! the clay sculputre from 365 (that's how I got here) and all the pictures you drew, each one is better than the last.
I know what you mean about only having that one set of photos... so unfair... and your newborns do really look so much alike. Aquila is so breathtakingly beautiful... I'm so sorry you didn't get to keep her. Much love to you.
Hi, Liz,
I came to your blog through the AM list just this morning. Hugs and Kisses to you.
Love,
Alison
Dear Liz,
I'm an Austin Mama (although I'm only active on the 06 list) and found your blog yesterday after it was posted on the Austin Red Tent list. I remember reading about your pregnancy and then loss on the ART list and was so very sad for you.
It wasn't until just now that I opened your blog and saw a photo of you and your family that I realized our paths have crossed... at the dentist's office this past june. I had a newborn and you told me were pregnant. You were such an inspiration with your brood and supportive of me trying to use cloth diapers out of the house. You also highly recommended a SkipHop diaper bag-- and I took your recommendation (and it's been great). It was clear to me mothering came so naturally to you and our little exchange left me feeling more connected to all of the Mamas out there in the world. Thank you.
With all that being said, I just read your blog and got to this post about lurkers... and wanted to comment... I'm sending you a big hug over the internet.
Wishing you love,
Rebecca
You are truly a courageous woman. I am 5 days past my due date and will never again complain about that! Thank you for sharing your story - and your artwork! It's incredibly powerful and moving.
Wanted to unlurk here. Found your blog through MDC. Arriving a bit late, but reading back.
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