sight:
I look in the mirror now rarely. i am shocked by who is staring back at me. Who is she??
At first i attributed it to the pale face and dark circles caused by the hemorrhage and severe anemia, but as those recede, she doesn't look anymore familiar...
Is it that my hair is covered in mourning now? no- even when i take my covering off i still can't look at her for long...
She just doesn't look like me.
i guess that is to be expected , since i surely don't feel like me. i have said it before, but it it worth repeating- time has changed on me. hours take days, days weeks... almost 4 weeks has passed since Aquila was born, but it feels like an eternity... just getting to the end of my 6 weeks "recovery" (haha) seems like millions of light years away.
so, this lady in the mirror- well she seems so far away.
3 comments:
wow
I like that last photo of you, though it comes with such sadness. I am sorry that you cannot recognize yourself anymore, though can see why, as I imagine that no photo or mirror image can outwardly display the inner torment you feel. How can a person look so normal when everything is so very wrong? I think that someday, perhaps, you will come back to yourself...inch by inch...year by year...though never quite the same as before because you will always have the imprint of Aquila on your heart. Strangers may not be able to see her there, but you always will, and so will I.
I don't think any of us every look the same again. There's always something there, in the eyes, that tells the story of our pain...
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