sleep for the grieving mom

i used to sleep so well. i have never been one to have trouble falling, or staying asleep.
but now my nights consist of trying for sometimes hours to get to sleep, between thinking (pray), fretting (pray some more), crying (pray some more), remembering (pray), imagining (PRAY)...
then, sometimes only an hour later i am up, sweating and sometimes crying from bad dreams. some are full of anger and violence, some full of death, some of sadness and betrayal. sometimes they are mearly chaotic and draining- but they are never good. i wake up several times each night, sometimes every hour on the hour. sometimes i fall back to sleep quickly, sometimes it takes up to three hours.
i am reminded of my favorite poem and this line from it-
"Your sleep is a dirty torn cloth."

and the aching for my baby in my arms, bearable in the daytime, overwhelms my senses at night.. sometimes i am sure i can hear crying in the house...
and i am reminded of another line from that same poem...

"but a baby
any baby
your baby is
the
most perfect human thing you can ever touch
translucent"

it seems unfair that i cannot even escape to sleep. what i would give for a sweet dream where i am holding Aquila (alive...) is that too much to ask? just one dream??